On my podcast, For Our Special Kids, at the end of each episode, I used to ask the question, “What is one word that you would use to describe a child with special needs?”
The word “hope” never came up. Looking back, I am actually shocked it didn’t but I’m also not shocked. Ha Because hope is absolutely NOT the word I would have used when I received Teal’s diagnosis. Sitting across from a calloused, been-in-the-industry-too-long, neurologist who had no bedside manner and should never have been delivering diagnoses to parents … I couldn’t have felt further from hope. Despair maybe. Confused, yes. Shocked, absolutely. And WITHOUT ANY hope, yes. Certainly not hope or hopeful.
But, that was over 5 years ago. So much can change in 5 years. Heck, so much can change in 5 months or 5 days. 5 minutes.
So, why would i use the word hope to describe a child with special needs? Aren’t they the farthest thing from hope? Don’t they struggle with everyday things like eating, dressing, walking, talking…almost everything? Most children with special needs, not all, struggle with something quite large each day. For my Teal, she’s struggling to express her needs and emotions with words. Oh, and eating too. And, selfcare. Ha…Teal struggles with lots. And, yet, I would absolutely use the word hope for my magical little girl.
Desmond Tutu once said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”
This is the hope for which I am referring and I imagine the others were as well. It is the light in the dark. A cool breeze drifting on a hot night. The rainbow appearing after the storm. The soft touch of your child’s hand. The caress of a lover after tears of sorrow.
It can be one brief moment in time that shifts all your perspectives. Hope is fleeting at times for us as parents and caregivers.
However, what if you look at your child with hope and you see hope within them? How does your perspective change? My daughter is the light in the darkness. She is the cool breeze, the rainbow, and the soft touch. She is the hope we need to see in this world.
Our children are the light. Our children are the hope. They are the ones who show us the way through the darkness. They are the ones taking our hand and guiding us on this journey. They are here to teach us to see a new perspective. They are here to help us evolve into better humans and to see our life on Earth with a new lens.
We must begin to look through their eyes. And, when you do, you won’t see so much darkness in this world, in your life, in your days, in your moments…or in theirs. You will see the light.
