In my class with Maureen Burford, we are currently working on our 2nd chakra. This is what Ellen Tadd refers to as the Identity Chakra. This chakra focuses on many things but the area I want to discuss today is balance. In her books, Ellen describes how this chakra supports action and pausing, movement and stillness, pushing and pulling, stimulation and support, masculine and feminine, growing and planting, talking and listening.
I realized when reading these chapters that it is our job as parents to support both of these sides. The receptive and the expressive sides of our children need to be nurtured.
For example, when I was a child, I was told by my parents and teachers quite often to stop talking. This does not shock anyone who has read my posts over the years or who has listened to me yammer on the podcast. However, these words did impact me quite negatively. I found myself not speaking up for myself when I needed to which then resulted in me pushing too much at inappropriate times. This happened frequently with my parents...outbursts, slamming doors, tears.
As I look at this chakra and then the concepts of yin and yang (that's basically what Ellen is getting at), it is so important to look at the opposite of what your child is doing and use that as a starting point to influence behavior and support growth. My parents and teachers could have said, "Jen, listen more." Rather than "stop talking"...see the difference, feel the difference? It is so much more instructive and I can feel a younger version of me learning in that situation not feeling shamed.
So, how does this relate to Teal and your child? Let's list out the things we want to see more of in our child. If I want her to talk more, what is the opposite of talking? What is the yin to the yang? Talking...listening. So, I am going to positively support her for listening. I might say, "Teal, I am so impressed with how well you are listening to me right now." And then a few minutes later, I may ask her to also use her voice. Describing the sometimes it's important to listen and sometimes it's important to speak and express yourself.
Another example, I want her to stop swinging her arms when she's frustrated. This often leads to hitting or smacking me or others and may be a problem in the future. So, what is the opposite of swinging her arms? Stillness in frustration. I hope in the future to say something like, "Teal, I really love how still your body is right now when I know you are frustrated with ______________." And then, after a few minutes I might honor when she uses her body to express herself in a positive way...like pointing, using signs, etc.
This is a work in progress for me but I thought I'd share with you some ways I am hoping to positively impact the world my daughter lives in.
Next post will be on the balance of spiritual therapies and physical therapies! Stay tuned.
