Feb. 14, 2019

Writing for me…

Writing for me…

Hello…anyone out there?

Well, it’s been forever.  And, truthfully, life just got in the way…AND, my ego got in the way (more on that later).  I started 3 different blogs before all hell broke loose in my household.  Sickness took over…guests came and stayed…and stayed…and stayed.  The holidays came…and lingered :-). Oh, then we got 18 hundred feet of snow in 3 weeks.  (yes, it’s still freaking snowing here in Tahoe).

But let me get back to this ego thing.  I started those blogs and wasn’t sure, you, the reader would enjoy them.  Were they entertaining enough?  Were they witty enough?  Funny enough?  Did they bring enough value?  Well, shit, once I started worrying about you, I stopped finding joy in the process.  I didn’t feel the value for me.

And, there is my lesson.  Who the heck cares what you all think?  Truly, how often don’t we get influenced by other people?   I find myself making decisions each day based on what other people might say, do, think.  And I rarely ask myself that question.  What do I really think about this action?  How does it feel?  Does it bring me joy?

My goal is to begin making more decisions that bring me joy.  Caring more about what I think than what others think.

In January, after having 26 people for Thanksgiving dinner (13 who came last minute), throwing a holiday party for 35 people, hosting  family and friends for Christmas, and then…just because I wasn’t over it quite enough, I found 10+ people at my house for a spontaneous New Year’s party.  God help me…I was SO OVER EVERYONE. That is when I realized that I did a lot to impress others and it was time to begin impressing myself.

Those decisions I want to begin making that bring joy…well, they need to also honor me and help me impress myself.  I want to “wow” me.  I want to choose the bath over the party.  The quiet dinner at home over the dinner out.  The rom-com over the sporting event.  I just want to give myself a freaking break.

And, I’m happy to say (outside of one major slip up around the Super Bowl which included custom cocktails…ugh), I have been letting things slide more.  I don’t pick up all the crap on my counter and shove it in our bedroom before people come over.  They, my friends, get to see my crap and my raw life now.  In the end, if anyone doesn’t want to hang out because my new office (as a full time mom) is now on the kitchen counter, then they shouldn’t be my friend.  You should see this crap…coffee mugs, unpaid bills, child toys, inspiration cards, keys, diffusers, unfolded towels, markers, a binder of learning materials, oh…my daughter’s birth certificate, books, essential oils, shea butter, watches, phone chargers,…OH MY GOD, I’m going to stop typing and go clean.

Love ya!!  Thanks for listening.

The…Gonna Impress Myself Mama!!